Everybody loves the feeling of setting some New Year resolutions and they are normally based on three things: -
1) To stop avoid things
2) To stop doing something
3) To start doing something
But changing repetitive, familiar personal behaviours or adding new, unfamiliar ones is difficult thing to do and will sadly sometimes lead to failing which can make you feel like you have failed.
Avoidance is especially difficult. When you avoid something that makes you anxious or uncomfortable (e.g., that email inbox with 2,300 emails) you may immediately be rewarded by a decrease in anxiety. If you face what you have been avoiding, you immediately experience an increase in anxiety. Always avoiding things will overall increase your anxiety but facing things will lead to a decrease in tension and anxiety. But to face them will increase short term anxiety and it can be extremely hard to do.
Your behaviours are not just simply habits. They are deep rooted and are embedded in your psychological, social and neuro system. Your behaviour is a complex part of your personality and temperament, your various emotional and physical needs (both past and present), your learned experience all form your current behaviours,’ stopping doing something isn't as simple as just breaking the habit.
Giving up something that makes you feel better is going to be difficult, if it wasn’t you wouldn't do them in the first place
We all use vices to control our emotions. So how are you going to manage………
1) The overloaded feeling at the end of the day that makes you want to relax with a drink.
2) The satisfaction of eating your favourite meal that you know maybe isn't good for you but makes you feel content.
Any behaviour that provides a reward in either emotional or physical feelings leads to you wanting to repeat these things.
So, taking on new behaviour’s that do not come naturally to you or are not part of your current routine means you are swimming upstream, against your own temperament, your body’s instincts and your unconscious emotions. They are difficult to change because you think they work for you now.
So, with all the above in mind, we have three simple tips for you to help you guide your way through the 2022 and start it positively
Tip 1 - Review you
Review what you have already achieved, what you are proud of and write at least 3 positive things about yourself at the current time
By doing this you will be less anxious about the future, and it allows more focus as It’s likely that you’ll be surprised at how much you’ve accomplished already so you start you goal setting on a positive thought.
Tip 2 - Set Goals
As we discussed above, the 3 ways that people normal set New Year’s resolution are based around 3 things that are often hard to stick to and can lead to you feeling like you have failed. This is not how you want to feel, as believe us you are NOT a failure in anyway, however you realise that now as you have just written all you have already achieved, and you should be proud of yourself.
But setting realistic goals is important and the key to success. Our advice would be to set goals around self-care.
Self-care is the practice of consciously doing things that preserve or improve your mental or physical health. Self-care is not synonymous with self-indulgence or being selfish. Self-care means taking care of yourself so that you can be healthy, you can be well, you can do your job, you can help and care for others, and you can do all the things you need to and want to accomplish in a day.
Looking after yourself will make you feel better, and the better you feel, the better you will be in all areas of your life – from work to relationships.
What are the benefits of self-care?
- Self-care can improve your physical health.
- Self-care can reduce stress and anxiety.
- Self-care can boost your self-esteem.
- Self-care protects your mental health.
- Self-care can lead to better relationships.
Tip 3 - Be you, for you
Self-care turns into love for yourself and those that do are less likely to suffer from anxiety or depression; self-love also paves the way to a positive mindset which is an essential ingredient for success in life and for mental well-being. Learning to love yourself also reduces stress, lessens self-doubt, and makes you more focused.
3) Love MOi
4) Love ME
5) Love others
Once you have built self-care + love into your routine, changing other things will become easier as you will want to care + love for not just you but everything around you.
We wish you a very Happy, healthy 2023 that is full of self-care, love, and positivity.